Here's a thought.
Accept that resolutions are pointless and you're going to keep doing, thinking, interacting, behaving the same as the previous 20 or more years (which is OK, unless you want to change your lot in life) or ....
Make some COMMITMENTS.
Commitments are profoundly powerful, there's no grey area. You're committed or not, you literally can't be semi-committed.
We commit or we don't to our relationships and if we don't you can be sure that ultimately those relationships will conclude.
My experience with commitment is that the only real and lasting changes in my life have occurred when I committed. I've set goals for 40 years, 90% of which failed to materialise, 100% of what I've committed to however has manifested, eventually.
Commitment gets indelibly scarred into our identity. People will tell you that they're Christian, Muslim, Vegan, Vegetarian, Conservative, Labour.... it's not what they do or what they believe it's who they see themselves as, and it's locked in.
One of my few early commitments was to athletics. I WAS an athlete. It wasn't something I did. I once went three years without missing a structured training session. Hail, storm, injury, social or work engagements, it was who I was, it was my identity.
Some people wonder at my anti-sugar commitment. I didn't just try and give up my gateway drugs to sugar, inclusive cake, biscuits chocolate, I committed to being someone who no longer ever even considered having a single bite.
One innocent biscuit won't impact my life except it would declare my lack of conviction, I would no longer be committed I'd be someone just trying and falling off the wagon more and more frequently.
Be wary of making commitments that you're not passionate about. Committing to a relationship you're not 100% sold on could be problematic. Committing to running a marathon this year, wrapped up in committing to changing your identity to someone who cares about their health could be euphoric.
New habits are the tools. But habits can die on the vine. I went to the gym for 30 years and then took a short break, which drifted into 3 and a half years. That habit needed to be renewed. and committed to.
Committing to exiting toxic relationships will change your life but don't expect it to be easy. We become addicted to the pain and find reasons to justify poisoning ourselves with stress hormones. Move towns, move countries, move continents whatever it takes or accept your lot.
You don't have to spend Christmas every year with the in-laws that you can't stand. It's a choice. And yes the first year will hurt, the guilt will kick in big time but it's your life, commit or try, only one mindset works.
New commitments are a big responsibility. Whether it's adopting a child, buying a dog or starting a business, it's going to impact your life. All in or nothing at all.
I'm working on identifying my next commitments. Unlike resolutions they can't be walked away from, so will have to choose wisely.
Some parameters. They have a positive impact on my short and longterm life, obviously. They contribute something of value to as many people in my ecosystem as possible. For instance, people notice when your identity changes, and if it's for the better it inspires them.
I am past that point in life where my ego inflates much with kudos and praise. My sense of wellbeing comes from hearing of someone who gave up an addiction or moved away from their path to diabetes or obesity and potential heart attack, triggered by a post or conversation is priceless to me.
If you choose to commit to something in 2020 I look forward to hearing all about your success, which I'm positive will show up.
Be strong, smile often, worry less 💪😎
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