The martyr complex can only exist in an environment where personal responsibility is absent.
Life is so much more uncomfortable when we acknowledge that it is the sum of our choices that have got us to where we are. Good or bad, they were our choices. Mom didn't hug us enough, Dad was unnecessarily judgmental, bullying was rife at school, the housing estate we grew up in was a killer of ambition, the boy or girl of our dreams cheated on us.....
Nevertheless, whatever the circumstances the choices and actions we engaged in are cumulatively what have lead us to where we are right now. We can let our circumstances define us. We can choose to live our lives mired in a world of self pity or we can learn from the past and make new choices based on where we want to go rather than live with a million excuses to stagnate.
Today is a new day full of hope and opportunity, new choices, new decisions and ultimately new results!